Monday, February 23, 2009

Stimulus for the Educated

by Daniel Bennett

Analysis by Georgetown University's Center for Education and the Workforce estimates that 54 percent of the jobs to be "created or preserved" by the $787 billion monstrosity will require at least some post secondary education.

Researcher Anthony Carnevale described it as:
"This isn't a bill for people with shovels, it's a bill for people with training and college degrees..."
Carnevale also notes:
"There's obviously direct aid in [the stimulus package] to help keep colleges running...the other thing the bill does is ensure a steady supply of customers needing their services."
If the Center's analysis is correct, combined with the massive federal expansion into higher education by way of increased financial aid and college campus infrastructure spending, then any light that may have been seen near the end of the tunnel (in terms of making college more affordable and productive) appears to be dissipating. Increased government expenditures on post secondary education will provide a green light for business as usual at U.S. college campuses, which has significantly contributed to the run up in tuition pricing. College officials will continue to reward themselves handsomely for a job not-so-well done, with the average senior executive at all degree-granting institutions making nearly $150k per year, according to 2008-09 data recently released by CUPA-HR.


capeman said...

Porr ol' Doc and his whiz kids. Great Depression II isn't going to fulfill their dream of destroying higher education, especially public higher education. They'll have to take their degrees, mostly from public universities, and move on to something else. I guess this shtick has just played out.

maxheadroom said...

Barackopoly—The New Generational Theft Act Of 2009 Edition

What if Parker Brothers™, a subsidiary of Hasbro™, updated the rules for Monopoly™ in order to reflect America’s current economic situation? The old rules simply do not apply any more. Our children and our children’s’ children have to learn that finance and real estate have dramatically changed.

Hotels and houses can be purchased without paying a dime; however, you must agree to make a balloon payment within the next five moves on the board.

Tough luck if you’re the player who’s running the bank. It has no money. On the bright side, securitizing the balloon payments on those hotels and houses then selling them to the other players will enable you to raise that much-needed capital.

Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff is the new face behind those little bars on the Jail square. That’s appropriate, right? The Go to Jail Card now offers an exemption if you wear an ankle bracelet and hand in your passport. That’s only fair isn’t it? Look closely at the Get Out Of Jail Free Card. The small print reads "...just don't assault and rob a sports memorabilia dealer in Las Vegas ten years later."

Everything’s changed in Barackopoly. Free Parking is a thing of the past. You must pay a $50 surcharge unless you’re driving a hybrid vehicle.

The railroads have changed too. Reading Railroad has been nationalized and converted to a light rail system that will be under construction for decades causing its budget to skyrocket and the Short Line Railroad is gone altogether. Got to reduce our carbon footprint ya know! Pennsylvania Railroad has been renamed Benedict Arlen Railroad and B&O Railroad also has changed—now it’s known as BHO Railroad. How nice.

Passing Go in the Generational Theft Act Edition of Barackopoly won’t be as financially fulfilling either. You won’t get $200 anymore but you will get a security backed by the final tranche of Bear Stearns underwritten collateralized mortgage obligations scheduled for maturity in 2019.

Mediterranean, Baltic, Oriental, Vermont and Connecticut Avenues are closed to traffic. Government weatherization projects are underway there. Move along—nothing to see here—just skittle-sh*tting unicorns and rainbows.

Let’s not forget about the obligatory changes that must be made to the Community Chest. It will now be called the Community Organizing Chest and there are two new cards you can draw from the deck: “You just had octuplets. Collect $300,000 for your appearance on NBC” and “You just got a stimulus check; collect $13 this week."

Wait—that’s not all. Chance will also have a new card added to its deck: "You have just been named junior Senator from Illinois: Pay $1 million." Thank you, Roland.

Make over $250,000 a year? Good news then. The Luxury Tax is not going to go up. This stimulating game of Barackopoly adds a surcharge on movie tickets, taxi rides, soda, beer, wine, cigars (this will piss off my friend Stogie), digital downloads, video rentals, candy bars, trips to the hairdresser, etc. etc. etc...

Sounds like big fun doesn’t it?

Barack al Obama is an idiot.